1. |
Tree
03:26
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A tree falls down
in clouds of mud & dust
& no-one's around.
Does it make a sound?
Sure it's heavy, sure it's lumber,
sure it's bark & it's wood,
but is it any good
if no one hears it?
Is it humbled in obscurity
to take no water?
Does it lay right down
without making a sound?
But maybe, come on...
Another gig to sew
these solar seeds
but nobody showed.
Sometimes it grows depressing.
The flag I fly
says, "DIY or die"
but I'm too tired to try.
Somebody hold my head up.
Nameless faces
how they turn their heads in unison.
Such plain indifference.
Should I lay right down
without making a sound?
But maybe, come on...
In time, the botonists
will come to count the rings
around my trunk.
I can almost hear them saying,
"The dream was dumb,
they were all just in it
for the money & drugs.
Too bad no one was paying."
I hear nothing,
not a chord that rings
or drum that pounds.
Just dusty records
that spin 'round & 'round
without making a sound.
But maybe, come on...
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2. |
Drive
02:30
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I only drive
when I have to.
I’d rather walk
if I can.
It helps me appreciate
things I'd pass by normally.
It’s nice to slow down
now & then.
Besides, what if I crash?
I only speak
when I’m spoken to.
I keep it in
when I can.
But sometimes it’s hard,
I’m concerned for my heart
when I swallow all that
it can stand
because what if it can’t?
I can’t stand the thought
of aging
but I’m afraid
of dying young.
I only drive
when I have to.
I’d rather walk
if I can.
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3. |
Broken String
03:32
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Broken string, broken string
you’re no good for anything.
I miss the way you were,
my broken string.
Oh, fix my brain, my soul,
my broken string.
Broke my string, broke my heart,
I cannot play on my guitar.
I miss your lonesome drone,
my broken string.
Oh, fix my prose, my poem,
my broken string.
26, 27
my hair is going
off to heaven.
28, 29
I’ll shave my head
to save my pride.
The mirror shows me what
my future holds,
that my head’s an empty beach
& the tide is low.
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4. |
Twenty Seven
03:58
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There are just so many things
I thought that I
would be better at
by now.
Like parking my car in a parallel space.
Like cooking a meal that is not scrambled eggs.
Like tying my tie or
like asking for help.
Like speaking my mind or
standing up for myself.
There are just so many things
I thought that I
would be better at
by now.
Do you rent or do you own?
Are you wearing a ring?
Aren’t you getting too old for this whole music thing?
Do you think you’ll have kids?
Will you start a career?
Do you live for yourself
or do you just live
in fear?
I swallow my pride
but I choke on my rage
& I pull up someone’s
Wikipedia page
just to see where they were at
when they were my age.
It either makes me feel good
or like it’s already
too late.
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5. |
Be a Man
04:10
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"Chin up, boy.
Stop that, be a man."
Well, I’ve tried
& I can’t.
A man is stone,
a man is strong,
& he takes what
he wants.
I never asked to be a man.
I’ve heard it said
that no man is born.
He is carved,
he is worn.
Some holy blade,
some dirty knife
to take a slice
of the apple
that you kept in your eye.
I never asked to be a man.
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6. |
Sell Your Daughters
03:26
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The past few months
I've been keeping Aspirin in my coat
in case my capillaries
swell up again.
They thin the blood
but then I never plan on bleeding much,
it's back in bed by quarter to ten
to be the sort of man who snores
& sells you mortgages
& speaks in compound interest rates.
Left hand in latex,
leave my palm out for your paychecks
& when they're not enough
I'll smile & I'll say
That you can sell your daughters.
It takes a certain type of person
to be someone in this world.
Trees don't sprout different fruit.
You found that out down at the bank,
you filled out paperwork,
felt like a jerk,
you spelled out your name.
It never feels too much like love,
but then it fills the cup
& now your bills get paid in on time.
You trade your pawn
to meet the queen
still all you ever see
at best is just a lone drunken night.
So you sell your daughters.
If you want to have a good time,
you know you've got to pay the price.
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7. |
T Shirt
03:25
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Summer,
you took a swim
& your friends
they laughed at
your body.
Smart kid,
you learned pretty quick
to sit on the beach
in your
t-shirt.
But it was all in good fun.
You’re just the sensitive one,
after all.
Jellyfish
in the foam,
a clam spits
itself
from its shell.
Walked home,
sat on your bed
& wished you were dead
for the first
time.
But it was all in good fun.
You’re just the sensitive one,
after all.
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8. |
Caffeine
02:54
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Last night I was driving through Jamaica, Queens,
I had about an hour to go.
I thought I could use a cup of java
so I found a little spot on my phone.
I thought it should only take a minute
so I left the motor humming along.
One cup, but it quickly turned to three or four
& when I left my motor was gone
for caffeine.
Next time that you find you need a pick-me-up
I'll tell you about the place you should be.
6 south to Canal or even Chambers Street
from there you take the J or the Z.
Step off, watch the gap
& see me sitting with an empty cup
& grinning so wide.
Sometimes you don't even need to sleep
you just lay in bed
shaking all night
for caffeine.
It gets you shaking
& makes you never
ever want to
stop.
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9. |
Reading Books
03:44
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Better be quiet or else I
will wake the neighbors & then every time
I pass them in the hallways they will give me looks.
Secretly wishing that my hobby was just
reading books.
Better be careful or the guy next door will go
talk to the Super or he'll leave an angry note.
I don't mind his scribbled bitching,
righteous in its tone.
But who will I call on if the sink backs up
& overflows.
I should be reading books.
I need a friend
who's a librarian.
I'd better quit it 'cause I don't know where I'd stay
if I got evicted from my place out here in Bay Ridge.
It's not exactly Bedford Ave. but just as well.
I've never been too comfortable being that impressed
with myself.
I should be reading books.
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10. |
Haunt
03:06
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Wait a little while
to mop up my laughter
in pools
& wade into my wound.
So happy & dancing
we duel.
So hungry, my body
it drools.
& kill a little time
hovering there
in your mind.
Liberating lies
on childhood & malice
we dine
but your flowers were worn
before I.
& day after day
I will haunt you,
I will haunt you
all day.
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11. |
Town
03:56
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I got into town when habit took the wheel
& ran into a friend I hadn't seen in years.
He asked me to some party,
I said I would go
But didn't plan to.
I mumbled at a wall, he stared down at the pavement
The sorts of things you do in awkward conversations
When did having friends become an obligation?
I wish I knew.
I lied when I said that I missed it.
Those rose tinted memories are pointless.
A stain on the cloth that you've bleached right through.
But good for you.
So I started up the car
& drove it down the road
where fresh disguises meet
the old familiar stones.
I've stumbled through these walls
a thousand times before,
I've felt this room.
It's where I learned to shrug at love
& shove all my emotions
underneath the rug or drown them in the ocean.
Gasping on the shore is a vibrancy of orange
& deeper blues.
I'm always afraid at the start of
anything I could be part of.
Afraid what I know could be
torn in two.
But good for you.
How come all that we ever seem to talk about
is how things used to be?
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12. |
Cockroaches
04:18
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Dear friends, good luck.
I hope the songs you write & sing
start raking in those bucks.
I hope if you get famous
that it will be enough
& if you don't, I hope that
when you're old,
it doesn't bother you that much
so you'll be free.
Oh, don't bother me much
so I'll be free.
Dear friends, I'm sick.
I tantrum like a child
& I lash out like a prick.
With this hunger for affection
& this thirsty need to please.
This self-obsessed disease
that keeps me staring back at me
while everyone that I love
takes the back seat.
Everyone that I love
takes the back seat.
Dear friends, we're stuck.
We go out at night like roaches
in these filthy bars & clubs
& we live off free drink tokens
& shameless, selfish plugs
& the songs we sing say, "feed me."
It's so needy needy needy.
Does it bother you much?
Or is it just me?
Does it bother you much?
Or is it just me?
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13. |
the Surprise Party
03:14
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It's been so many years,
more than fit on a cake.
If that first cut
is my last piece, that's fine.
All the love I've been shown
has been work,
has been luck.
But if it's worth it, then you're lucky.
I know.
Some days there's no time to find you in my phone,
but I admit it's nice to know I'm not alone.
Tonight I walked through a door
to everyone that I know
& they brought red wine & ambrosia
for me.
It's hard to hide how you feel
when it's all on your face.
Thank you all,
I love you,
Goodbye.
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14. |
||||
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I won't be around forever,
my face is drawn in dust.
Here with breezes blowing,
gone with the next gust.
It may take a lifetime,
this steam may turn to rain.
But keep holding your umbrellas,
'cause you're going to love me someday.
& I won't wait up for you.
I've been a wallflower dweller,
I've worn a coat of paint.
I offer up my elbow,
this dance is yours to take.
You might not have know my picture,
might not have seen my face.
You might not see it coming
but you're going to love me someday
& I won't wait up for you.
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